KROTCH Zine (Issue 11)

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THEHORROR -:
OF TRAINS -

Revealed

>Did you know?

While you're sitting@@Methis train,
there's a multitudêMo! so many
other trains out LEBRE gongana
sorts of directiong!

Movement
is unnatural

IS NOT SAFE.
THIS IS NOT RIGHT.
STAY HOME!

>Did you know?

At any given time, there are
trains everywhere, disturbing
the natural order of things.

>Did you know?

There are enough trains and other
human-made so-called “vehiclesä
on our planet to transport algai
mankind from a point to another
at some point.

ENOUGH
IS ENOUGH}

Trains? are "unsettle

TRAGKS TRAC
- BROUGHT TO YOU BY

THIS IS A NO TO
T

STAY!

THE POWER OF HERE

Resist trains! Stay where you are!

STRAIN YOURS”
I don't remember
E JESUS Say YES to
fm taking the train;

do you???

YOUR BODY BELONGS
WHERE IT WAS CONCEIVED!

DON'T BE ON
THIS TRAIN!

>Did you know?
When you exit this train, you won't be
where you were when you entered it!!!

The transportation of human bodies
from their place of origin to other
locationsis an abomination!

TOGETHER LET'S PUT AN
END TO THIS DEPRAVITY!

vysi

A E Gs

«a1cdo do An
Para gente GER DEDOS IT

al ET than he ds en oe

Colorado, Photo,

of q nother, A space M

clear the way please Im gg

rowd
habitat-butsiue+s+ still move throguh the c

u x y a |
= J h d h “ ] = $
és p a pl y,

aara owi VILA

Terá capa dura e miolo todo em papel-casca-de
Mever penpan n, :
ever performed anything no tamanho normal de Casa 8 Jardim.
Lindas ilustrações, artigos orientadores,
soluções e sugestões às dúzias. Já batizaram a
: i i decoração.

[4

Connection and Space and

from. I must not look

E . I an-
donning the events as

I am à degree in dei j un they never happened,

fme?
— his paintings of hiy bo hough 1 didn’t want it to
a. Have: you seen © d all the time even tho oe
The picture

€

—e- GE QUE cade

typewri |

t i A
metamode Lica : ¥

it w

«o
it was poetry
-it protested

- it performed
É Ek Ch:

$

RE was Krakow,
Consuming all avai
“it was sex on the

= ESO
it was weird“and
misogyny show
it wa
did

There,

A >
IN A

\ i

Ma

\

“You are under no order to obey,”
he said to Mary. “He cannot detain
you, and, should you come with me, I
assure you the law of this state will re-

"I've been throwing stones," I tell Barhara Spannerhandle, "but this
weekend in Krakow we found a catapult!"
Write that down, she says.

You are 90% more likely

if you have a collective, or Molly for breakfast, sipping cider for
brunch, salty deli pickles in a kosher Polish cafe,

jump off trains like burning marionéttes for a quick pull, and/or a.
scarper to the Bohumin train station potraviny for a hastily 4
chosen armful of StaroBrnos's and two bags of Lays for sharesies. » -

At Hlavni Nadrazi 1 walk past this unlikely looking duffer
shuffling behind his earbent bud', "I have some Rn a skepticism
about your navigation skills."
A singular piece of knob.

The 10%,

I write it down.

mms know where we are going. Know where we

are at.

"There's no such thing as an edgy poet," I say, and Barbora
Spannerhandle replies, "I wish I didn't have to care about art."

THIS IS MY BODY. THIS IS MY BOUNDARY. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT
THIS ONE IS MINE.

We scribble that into a paper plane, toss it into the children's
playpen and it's total war.

We are all happysadhappy at the same time but not sad, sitting next
to each other, on top of each other, running around throwing
shapes filled with secret messages,

.. and we tie each other up in tattooed ribbons asking each other 'How
. does stuff make you feel?!”

N

"Every time is the first time, Every time it's real."
'And if you feel nothing? What's that like?"

But these poets are edgy. These poets have so many cagon:.. Shane they re
ROUND, man!
They write that down.

Rising to the last frontier of a kissing booth, war masks, war
paint and war pants tied voluntarily to the leather coat tails of
our heroic planner dandy flappers casting spells, naked as the day
Christ-pig was born. Handsomer than the handsomest leaders of a
no-nation you ever saw; the holy trinity gone platinum, David's
Sister riding her inversions into a fistful of hummus and warm
Branik splooged.

So Barbara Spannerhandle glides into the red room, wades into

. the train carriage, creeps into the hostel drenched from the
deluge and returns all the shit we lost over the last four years. |

Eyes stuffed with love and great ideas and novelty drink a :

"That's no dancer, that's my wife!"
ia the photographogenics before any get we faces vaped É ;
e "Just: one more, just one more, eds one more."

Poetry sucks E gee

And s. ; Er

It's funny because ;

When you say 'OBJECT “PARADISE, you might think

Of...

Humanoids edging golden crocodiles deep within the Book of Thoth

see-saw diode petal trappers

Prowsy stuffy Incal nimbus

pataphysic meep meep chancers

Armageddon soczka flotsam

Honolulu belly dancers. ae

Polo Hungo Czechy shadows © f

Multi Lingo practice trappers l

Tele ready primo Suns .:

Lelek pooka integrators *

Sandy keystone agitators

Say so subtle bangy monkeys

Five-Adelka Lala Pasaz

Nerd-to-cool kid disco suckers
`- Dejte vejce malovany

T-country sleepless hugs

‚While I think of

Egyptian.improv choo choo kooks
Topless banner matter streamers
Secret pocket love conductors
Visegrady fundy poppers

Handy makey tarot tumblers
Hide your wine the buff man cometh
Shouty Anti train beguilers
Trumpet porno sex reciters
Baguette boats and cheek invasions
Hurty laughy corpse occasions
Rum thief abstract happy campers

"Can you hear me screan!
Can you hear me scream?
Can you hear me scream?"

Could you hear us scream?
If you could,
then you are 90% more likely.

Nobody could have predicted what was to come. Expectations were high.

Turns out this was Rome, man

And not a single tear at this orgy.

. Greedy altruists shining

rapacious and wor ee).
; Re anos a: er

Deformance . N Br

| Refornançe |

RETA TA A

Sugestões

para
asa MM.

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ILUMINAÇÃO
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E ae

==

_ À

LIA COM PRA
MIBVEIS DE JUNCWY
SME PARA AMBI
TES INTERNOS EM
TERNOS.

CONFEBBFONARIO
CESTAS E ESCOV
PARA TODOS OS Fit

Hearing is
“listening is
reading is
touching is
believing is

feeling is
kissing is
speaking is
understanding is
questiôning is
answering is
making is
wondering is
seeking is
fucking is
releasing is
loving is
releasing is
creating is
releasing is
owning is
releasing is
living is
releasing is
poetry (is)

i = îi
El a À
ES = o “4
. “2. ’ »
b . e ps > A
. > $
. “e

- SOPTWESS
-Yeuou
~ WAS BORN AND DIED

ISTENCE OF POETRY

only.only
only

i

ly
only onl
only on
only on

gs Shanes

AEREA San E

pozo jojojo ojo O

PRRRBBE
FFE

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la

3
ES
OD

GBP

et

bath tissue
AA E

no”

Poetry Reading
to be Held in

Echo Chamber

olicy: ee on
z tems

. e (VINOHRADY) Members of
hi BILLA als the Vinohrady
A Avant-garde Poetry
(PROSTEJOV) In an >
expected move, Denotation to aa (VAID Bave.
shoppers at the o re a en
an owned Conotation efforts to make real art
; BILLA supermarket by hosting their next
chain are now (BOHUMIN) Last Poetry reading entirely
obliged to weigh all weekend, the inside an echo chamber.
items before performance and À
advancing to oetics collective "In this new context, we
checkout. This BJECT.PARADISE will get to perform for

encompasses not only derailed a train en ourselves, and therefore

fruits and route from Prague to we will also be the

Krakow in audience of ourselves."
2 ak alot Dis- celebration of said contributing VAPE
roceries and language. writer, Verbum Vagrant.
ER products. pue train, AS When e hr. a:
o arrive a :50 reportersi s is e
; en Heat E arrived a half hour best way to get outsiders
reassured KROTCH : later due to into the community of
reporters that while unexp an poetry writing, VAPE
shoppers are readin on platform represenatives replied,
mandated to weigh 3 of Bo er just "this is art
items, affixing the before POMBA the --not a
weight and price Polish border. community
sticker directly to myo + center.
the product is e train was
- optional. Instead, A prea
t ey still have the paz yaa ee Event /
E) +,
the stickey on br Deformance,’ — Attended «
eformance even AVG
around the scale sne ene aio only by e)

nel. conductor decided to Photographers

"Research has shown i¢t the writers have

that consumers ae n a eS (Narodni Divadlo) Last
prefer the Pp a AA gles Tuesday, photographers

purchasing rocess minutes. were suprised to

o be as challenging discover that they were

as possible. That 5 er A aa ES the only ones in 7

exactly why we' Be ne a attendance at a pop-up

introducing this RONEN be ee performance art

mandate including spontaneous language q ant at the
pre-packaged apple RE nae. that National Theater.
sauce,", assert ee era |

Jablko. aughter, singing, Although each was

smoking, and limbo. gjvidually invited,

photographers gathered
to find only other
photographers at “the
performance,

Such breaks are
usually an annoyance
to commuters, but the
group saw the moment
as an opportunity
that could never he very successful due to

recreated and seized. the heavy media a
BE E = an iaa ;

SA ac a

The event was deemed

&shhh - train ready
that en; = fr

i nn

eat eat eat eat es ready real real i t asty : - E

anaes plastic hug, rn.

_ we are £ uggachugga chugging along, making noise, “mal ing noise
all way through the fields as we make our way to krakow to makesome

ore moiseeeeeeecceeeeeeeeeeececeeeeeceeeeceeeeceecece and maybe some

anti poems, and maybe some anti art andmaybe some anti anti anti other

stuff. its all stuff, em and we are stuffing ourselves with the joy of

ma.kin g stuff and saying stuff andsharing stuff and typing stuff

and drinks ding stuff and alli. this stuff happening is really just us al

all of us trying to live E) really live and | and

PS before our trains derail

004090000000065000000000000000

[e ag P missed konnections
oo. eee e to us )KROTCH (AT) OBJECTPARADISE.COM @
00000 000000000000000

W4M ( TRAIN : YOU KNOW HHO) ) - We had a great, private reading
in the bathroom from PRG te KRW. Then it was a stand up
comedy show that turned then into an against the wall
performance. Anyways, I got some more poems to show you
Johnny. Let's see where the next train goes.

M4W ( TRAM ) ~ On a Monday you rode the lo or Ib from Namesti
Miru to Moran. It was half past 5. I was enthralled by you.
All lips and finger tattoos and rings. I could tell by

- your hands you're an artist of some kind. I regret not
talking to you then. I wish you walked down Moran to

Palackeho on another Monday. I would tap yonr shoulder,

say howd PA |

é (PRAGUE. I NEED A DRIN) = GERT N
IM ALWAYS AT THE BAR NEAR YOUR HOUSE. OKAY? a

THERE.

MM4? ( NOVE MESTO. HUMAN CANVAS WANTED ) - you will come over,
we will wine and fine you. you will take off your shoes,
we will iron your socks. you will lay naked across our
kitchen talle. we will paint hoth the kitchen and your
body. ( we are looking for a muscley man as an inverted ..
stencil for our kitchen ) you get wine and ironed soeka ee
email KROTCH if interested. serious inguires only. na

W4W ( BERLIN KARAOKE BAR : yakisoba girl) - you were cating
yakisoba at IP Pavlova last saturday, croutched on a
stoop crying into your tofu. You got sick and.I felt bad
and asked if I could hold your hair. I hope yop got home
okay.

M4W ( BAR NEVINNY : HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE) - You sat in the
corner drinking kozel, writing on receipts from your
wallet. I wanted to tell you how beatiful you, are,
out bangs, sharp chin, soft eyes.

eo >

FAO